Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Time Out

I need a break.

I've been dating pretty continuously all year and I'm tired. I have one more date lined up with "He Who Must Not Be Blogged About" before he leaves for two months. Will I hear from him after he leaves or when he gets back? Who knows. I hope so, but what will be, will be.

I'm going to delete my profiles and apps. I'm not going out with any guys for a while. I have no idea how long. Until it feels right I guess. I keep making stupid decisions and going out with people I don't want to spend time with. Its just not fun anymore. And honestly, the stuff with Jay shook me up.

I've had a rough year. I keep moving from guy to guy and its probably not a great strategy. It always feels fun when its new, but then I seem to end up feeling shitty about myself. I'm always worried about what I'm doing wrong. Thinking about what I need to do to keep him happy, make him like me. And then when it falls apart, because it always does, I put all the blame on myself.

But don't worry (Kate and Jenna and Lauren) and anyone else who reads this, I have more bad dates that have already happened to write about. And my life is still ridiculous even when I'm not trying to make it more complicated with men. So I'll still write. But no more men. For now.

So I'll start 2015 with a less busy social calendar. But I'm excited about it. I'm excited to stop with the stupid games of "who's going to text first?" "will he kiss me?" "should we have sex?"
And just spend more time on my kid, on my job, on my girlfriends, and me.

Wish me luck!

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