Wednesday, November 19, 2014


I can't remember this guy's name for the life of me, so we're calling him Tom. Tom was a Tinder match. It was a night I didn't have a date and didn't have the kiddo so I was up for whatever. Tom and I matched and within a few hours, we were meeting for dinner.

Guys are never as tall as they say they are. I always wear flats to first dates for just such a reason. I don't especially care if I'm taller but guys can be weird about it.

Tom and I were supposed to meet for sushi but the sushi place was closed. We met up and moved on to plan B which was a little bistro around the corner. We split an appetizer and a bottle of wine. Tom was new in town, in the military and very cute.

We got tipsy sharing the wine. Once it was done and paid for, he picked up the tab (yay!), he drove us few blocks over to a divey bar I've been to a few times. We continued having pleasant conversation about nothing over another two rounds of drinks (I got the bar tab).

After the second round of cocktails we decide to leave and Tom offers to drive me back to my car. He pulls into the parking garage and parks right next to my car. Its pretty clear we are going to make out. And we do. A lot. Its getting pretty hot and heavy in the cab of his truck but Tom's announcement that he doesn't have any condoms is enough to break my haze. I met this guy on the internet a few hours ago. I do not want to be that girl who has sex with a stranger in a car. Damn Natalie, class it up a little. I tell Tom its not a big deal about the condom because we are not having sex tonight. We chat a bit more, I get in my car and we go our separate ways.

Later that night, tucked safely in my bed, Tom and I are texting. We barely know each other so I say, "Tell me a secret." Tom responds, "I'm bi."  Um.

I don't feel qualified to handle this. I have no problem with people being gay but bisexual isn't something I've run across in my dating life. I hadn't really considered it at all and don't have a well formed opinion on the topic. My first instinct is to tell Tom that makes me uncomfortable because now I'm not just competing with other girls for his attention, but with guys as well. Tom says this isn't a concern because he's not a cheater. The conversation awkwardly devolves and we never speak again.

But I poll my friends and it's unanimous. Bi is a bridge too far. The consensus is that if one were to be in a relationship with a bisexual guy, what's to say he won't come home one day and announce, "I like you, but I've decided I'd rather be with someone who has a penis." I have no response to that. So anyway. I handled this horribly with Tom, but I don't have a penis and I'd prefer to be with someone who will only ever be happy about that fact.

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