Todd

We met on Tinder. Todd was a single father with twin boys who were right around my Kiddo's age. He was 10 years older. I wasn't even sure why I'd swiped right because I didn't like his nose. But swipe right I did and we struck up a conversation.

Because he was old, he wanted to talk on the phone. My generation does not talk on the phone unless strictly necessary. And talking on the phone isn't necessary for setting up a date, if you ask me. I hate these stilted phone conversations with a person I've never met.

Todd suggested we meet at a restaurant in Edmonds that is literally down the street from me, so of course I agreed. He called to tell me he was running late because after work, he went home to shower and was now stuck in traffic. He apologized saying that he wanted to look nice for me and that you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Aww. That's pretty adorable.

I'm at my house, getting ready and jammin to some tunes when Todd texts to say that traffic is bad and he's very sorry but he'll be a bit late. Since I haven't left my house and am 4 minutes from the restaurant, I'm not concerned in the least. I tell him not to worry about it.  He says, "Thank you for your grace."

"Thank you for your grace."

I don't think in the history of my life anyone has said I have grace or am even graceful. This dude is earning a lot of points before the date even starts.

As we sit down to dinner, we chat about our children, work, the usual things. Todd says he wants to take things very slow and "court" me before we get more serious. I'm very thrown off my his suggestion that we are already supposed to be exclusive. I have another date already scheduled for the following night for god's sake.

I'm also distracted by the warning signal my gaydar is giving off. And his hideous shirt.

Throughout the meal he reveals that he's been divorced not once, but twice. :-/
He asks if I want more children which is his segue to telling me he's had a vasectomy.

I'm getting less sure of this guy but nothing is a surefire dealbreaker yet so after dinner we proceed down the street to the newest on my list of favorite bars. (I can't tell you more about it. It's super small and I'm keeping it all to myself.) We stayed for a drink. Todd told a joke to the whole bar that wasn't that funny and I'd heard before. It was a Thursday so we left somewhat early.

Because he was a gentleman, Todd did walk me to my car. And kiss me. Ugh. Listen, I know its gauche to brag about yourself, but fuck it, I'm a good kisser. A really good kisser. And Todd was not on my level. #Dealbreaker

I mulled the date over in my mind for the next few days. Todd is a very nice man. He has his life together. But there are too many things I don't like about him. I texted to cancel our second date. He sent 3 texts in return basically demanding that I explain why I didn't want to see him. Instead of saying, "You seem gay. You're a bad kisser. You're a braggart." I went with the "nicer" version which was also true and told him that he intimidated me with how "together" his life is, the twice-divorced thing worried me, and the fact that he's had a vasectomy is incompatible with me probably wanting more kids someday.

Todd was a true gentleman and responded that out of all his dates he had the most hope about me, that he could understand my concerns about the two divorces and vasectomy. He thanked me for my honesty and told me to let him know if I changed my mind. Highly unlikely.