Saturday, November 15, 2014

Goodbye Robert

So I need to wrap up the Robert misadventure. Because its done.  Here's how it started. We went on a month and half's worth of dates. We didn't have sex until two days before it ended. I tried to take it slow and get to know him. He was kind of dull but funny. Robert is smart. Robert is polite and very generous. But it wasn't quite right. Anyway, here's how it went down:

Robert picked me up and took me to see Gone Girl. We had a good little debate on the way home about the nature of one of the characters. I said I was enjoying our debate. He said it wasn't a debate because he's right. Alrighty then.

After the movie he took me home and told me we need to talk about us. He told me he doesn't want a relationship. I told him I didn't ask for one. He told me he isn't ready for a relationship and didn't want to keep hanging out because my feelings would just get stronger and I would move too fast and it wasn't fair to me. I told him that's all perfectly fine and valid and showed him the door.

But inside, I'm pissed.

Part of me wants to lash out and say, "Well, you're really too short for my tastes. You're actually a little chubby. You have a weird patch of hair on one shoulder blade. You are not a good conversationalist. You're not a gentleman."

Part of me is just wounded that he rejected me, when I wasn't that into him. You don't want to see Me anymore? Who are we kidding, I'm hot, you're average. (I know, I'm being an awful bitch today. Just let me get it out of my system)

Part of me is mad that he took away my choices. I didn't ask you for a relationship. It feels rude as hell to be told you can't have something you didn't want anyway. Apparently because I said nice things to him, he got the idea that I'm really really into him. Dude, your a good kisser and a master at cunnilingus, but I'm not falling for you. I complimented you because I'm a nice fucking person.

And I was trying to give you the hint that you should say something nice to me once in a while, because while it should shallow and needy, it sure would be nice if the guy I'm seeing would occasionally throw a compliment my way and act like he's doing more than tolerating me.

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