Steve #1

Steve is a comedian I met on tinder. We texted for a few days and our schedule's aligned and we met up. He showed me the gorgeous views from the roof of his building, we talked a bit and then drove to Tacoma together. We went to Dorky's, which is an awesome place full of beer and arcade games. Steve beat me at Mario Kart but then I won two games of air hockey. Let the record reflect: I'm pretty legit at air hockey.

Then we went to the comedy club and Steve introduced me around and set me up with a drink and a burger in a booth and then the show started.  Steve was pretty darn funny! I was so glad because it would have been a super awkward drive home if he wasn't funny. We left midway through the headliner's act.

We got back to Belltown and he took me to Bathtub Gin, a speakeasy style bar. It was such a cool bar with a nondescript door. I never would have found it if Steve hadn't know where we were going. We found a couch in one of the little rooms off the main area. On the shelf were rows of books. The cute waitress, (Sup Alice!) told us that some of the books had games in them, and sure enough some of the books were fake, just hollowed out shells. The first one we opened was empty, but the second was full of scraps of paper with questions written on them, such as "Where does the cum go?"

Indeed. Where does the cum go?

Tons of scraps of paper with questions. Mostly sexual in nature but we both played along and it was fun. On one of my turns, the paper said, "Will you kiss the person to your right/left on the lips?"

So I did.

Whenever one of us drew a blank scrap we made our own question. Steve's wild card question was to ask if I would come home with him. I said yes.

We finished the questions and finished the drinks. We went across the street to his building and up to his apartment. Steve backed me up against the wall and kissed me. A good kiss. We moved to the couch and kissed a bunch more. Steve undid my bra. Things started moving quickly.

He pinned my arms. I couldn't move them. 13 years ago Steve was a Marine. If he didn't let me move my arms, my arms were not going to move. I feel like I played a part in this. One questions from a scrap of paper Steve had asked me was to describe a sexual fantasy.  I stalled and finally said bondage. I've had a boyfriend tie me up, loosely, during sex. And it was fun and something I might explore more. But I'd been with that boyfriend for months before that happened. I trusted him. And while Steve was a perfect gentleman all night, picking up the checks, opening doors, I don't know him.

I'm probably an idiot. I've gotten into this situation before. I meet a man and barely know him. And I'm fine with things progressing physically until something triggers a fear instinct in me. It happened with Richard, with Jay, with David. I don't know why this happens.

Any way, I asked Steve not to pin my arms and he was fine with that. We moved to his bed and kissed some more. Steve stood up and removed his pants. I'd previously told Steve we weren't having sex and that I wasn't spending the night. But things seemed to keep progressing and him taking his pants off made it seem like things were moving in an irreversible direction.

I got up and got myself straightened up and my shoes back on. Steve walked me to my car. I apologized for being so weird about the whole thing and tried to explain that I'm trying to be less of a slut.

I don't know if this is going anywhere. I don't know if he likes me. I think Steve is nice but I don't know if I like him, like him. But he's a lot of fun, so I guess we'll see!