The Number

Obviously I'm referring to the number of men I've had sex with. And let me tell you up front that I am not sharing that number with you. I know it and that's enough. I used to be super hung up on not wanting to add to the number. I used to be super concerned with what his number was.

Until I was having a conversation with a guy and he declined to share his number because he didn't want to know mine, "Its not fun imagining your girl with all those other guys."  Which is true I guess. I don't really think about all the other women he's been with. But I do agree now that its a stupid conversation. What purpose does it serve? I'm trying to be a more sex-positive person, which to me means that as long as everyone was consenting and of age, I don't care how you get your kicks. I don't give two shits if you've slept with 2 women or if your number is in the triple digits. I only care that you're clean and safe.

I grew up extra-strength Catholic. I'm non-practising now but some of that mindset is stuck in my brain. I've clearly given up on the whole "no sex before marriage" part because I am divorced and have a kid. The jig is up, I'm not a virgin. Shocking I know!

Accept, forgive, change. Live where I am now, not back where I was.