Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Behavioral Problems 2

On a Wednesday afternoon, my phone rings. Its John telling me we need to immediately pull Kid from daycare.

What? What happened?

John talked to the pediatrician, same as I did. John told the doctor that the Kid come home very tired from school, and is "zombie-like." But on Monday of this week, John's mom kept the Kid. Monday evening, Kid was full of energy. Apparently, this means we need to find a new daycare.

Hold on there, doofus. Isn't it possible that the Kid had energy because playing with grandma all day is not as strenuous as playing with 20 other kids all day?

He said he'd found other daycares to look at. I told him we could talk about it in the evening, since I HAD ALREADY COMMITTED TO COMING OVER. I'm so irritated. Why does this have to be discussed right now, at work in the middle of the day? There is no safety concern, so this is not an immediate problem.

I'm dreading going over to his place. Now he's put me in a position where I look like I'm disagreeing with the pediatrician. It feels like common sense to me, that if the Kid isn't doing well with lots of change, why would we make more change by having him transition to a new daycare?

Later that day, after work, I went to John's place. We tried to talk to Kid. asked him what he didn't like about his school. Kid's response was that he doesn't like it when mom and dad leave him at school. We tried to explain that that would happen at any school. We told him we could look at different school, but if he went to a new school, his friends and Miss Zara would not be there.

I felt that the talk went alright, that we'd look at some other schools but give it a little more time.
The next morning, I'm riding the bus when John calls. He thinks we need to pull Kid immediately because as John was making lunches that morning, Kid says, "I want to go to a different school." And in the car on the way to daycare, Kid screamed "I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL," all the way there. (About 4 blocks.)

I get off the phone with John because there is nothing I can do from the bus.  Later in the morning, I called the daycare and asked for their read on the situation. They said the main thing is that Kid doesn't eat, and is then cranky for half the day. The daycare director thinks that if we can resolve the food issue, Kid will be happier. I agree.

I text John to ask if he has time to talk. (It's called being considerate. Ass.) When we talk on the phone, I relay the daycare director's thoughts about Kid's eating habits. Kid has always been a picky eater and its a struggle to get anything non-carb into his mouth. John agrees to set up an appointment with a nutritionist and see if that does anything. I'm on board to try anything at this point.

I tell John, my proposal: see the nutritionist, maybe tour a school here and there, but let's fix the food problem first and then see if a change of venue is still necessary. I express my thought that we should do this methodically, not making rash decisions, even though we both want to make Kid happy right away. John tells me he is not willing to deal with this slowly for the sake of being slow. Which is not what I said, but at this point I can tell we are too far apart on the issue and its about to get ugly. We ended the call calmly and politely.

I am willing to talk to Kid and get his thoughts, but a 3 year old is not capable of deciding what's best for him. I also don't think that a 3rd big change in 3 months is best for Kid. John disagrees and I'm not willing to back down on this. I'm really worried that we need to go back to mediation.

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