I'm being petty and I'm being insecure and I just have to get it out.
I'm sad. I overanalyze his every word or tweet or post.
I'm making him this thoughtful birthday present. I'm having fun making it, but I'm scared to actually give it to him. Part of this present is a lot of letters, my feelings and thoughts about Jack laid bare. And I don't think he likes me the way I like him.
We've been together 6 months. I don't know what's wrong with me.
He says the right things. He's always said the right things.
And now he's putting his words into effect to make more time for me, for us.
But I still feel like I'm chasing him. Like I'm a pathetic groupie, hoping to be noticed, wishing to be loved, asking for affection and affirmation.
The part that I hate the most is that I can't figure out if my feelings are valid and I should say anything to him or I'm just so warped and anxiety filled that I'll never feel stable and safe in a relationship. Which wouldn't be Jack's fault. And would meant I ought to break it off since it would mean I'm incapable of being happy.
I wish he would tell me honestly what he feels.
I would trust any answer I'd get if I asked him. I don't want to prompt him.
I make myself so miserable sometimes.