Lemonade

Beyonce is getting me through some shit y'all.

I know its not "for me." But I love it, its art, its important, and I love it.

I had my heart fucking broken in January. Crushed. Wrecked. Destroyed. In a way completely different than the other times. In a way that makes me question and wonder and worry. And I'm different. He'll forget me and I'll forget him, but I'm a different person now. Harder, tougher, thicker.

I am the dragon breathing fire
Beautiful mane I'm the lion
Beautiful man I know you're lying
I am not broken, I'm not crying, I'm not crying
You ain't trying hard enough
You ain't loving hard enough
You don't love me deep enough
We not reaching feats enough
Blindly in love, I fucks with you
'Til I realize, I'm just too much for you
I'm just too much for you
-Don't Hurt Yourself

And your heart is broken cause I walked away
Show me your scars and I won't walk away
-Sandcastles

And I've been hustling like a champ this year:

She pushing herself day and night
She grinds from Monday to Friday
Works from Friday to Sunday
Oh, stars in her eyes
She fights and she sweats those sleepless nights
But she don't mind, she loves the grind
-Six Inch Heels

I'ma keep running
Cause a winner don't quit on themselves
-Freedom



But can I get back to a place where I let someone in?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
I don't know what I'm doing. I'm almost 30. I'm not ready or excited about it. I don't feel like I'm on track. I don't know what on track would look like anymore.
But if Queen Bey can get back to love, I'll fucking try again.

All I wanna, ain't no other
We together, I remember
Sweet love all night long
-All Night